Just a couple points and I'll shut up and let you vent your frustrations in peace!
1)I don't think it is entirely fair to hold Toyota responsible for the behavior of your dealer.
2)I think a lot of dealers were caught off guard as well, they figured that like the other cars on the lot they could take your request/order and would more than likely be able to get the car you want in a timely fashion. When it became clear that the demand was so great they had to back pedal. Not making excuses, and there ARE some bad dealers out there, but that's true for GM, Ford, Honda, Saturn, BMW, etc too. Ditch the dealer not the manufacturer.
3)You stated that you never had trouble ordering the exact car you wanted before this. Let me assure you that this process is not at all uncommon, particularly with foriegn manufacturers. Most of the time when supply is greater than demand you CAN get exactly what you want in a pretty short time period b/c dealerships swap allocations to meet their customer's needs. But still there is not a process for ordering the car you want and then the factory builds it. We experienced this same thing with my wife's Honda Accord years ago. This is not a novel situation, what makes it difficult is the lack of surplus to make the process of trading allocated vehicles possible.
4)You repeated that you just want to get the CAR, package and color you want. And that is fair and reasonable. But, what I can't wrap my head around is the fact that rather than accept a different color you'd rather accept a different car?! I just can't understand the logic there and that's where I jump to the conclusion that there is a bit of a passive-aggressive revenge factor involved. Let's face it, you can't even see the outside of the car when you're driving. Sometime people just have major aversions to one color or another and that's their right, but when the color of the paint becomes more important than the vehicle it is protecting then I think the priorities have gotten out of whack.
5)I'm more than willing to bet that if you stay the course, keep your eyes open and stick to the 6 month window you were told about that you will get your car--exactly how you want it. Production is ramping up, others will necessarily cancel their order as their need for a new car increases their despiration. If you can re-evaluate the import of the exact color you want and compromise just a little on that it will also help. And just check around. Send e-mails to a number of dealerships. Tell them what you want, what you're willing to pay, that you're a serious buyer and see what they can do.
This is a fairly unique situation. Cooler heads will prevail and those folks will get what they want. I wish you both the greatest of luck in getting your Prius, as a current driver I promise you it's worth the wait (I waited 6 months after putting down my deposit too, albeit knowing it would be at least 4-5 months before it came out). I guess I just want to defuse some of the generalizations and such. Toyota's a good company doing a good job and producing something that no one else even has the guts to take on. They've made a huge investment in this project that seems to be about to pay off well. If they've made a mistake in their estimates and marketing/distribution strategy can't you see your way to forgiving them that? If you need to take revenge on your local dealer if they decieved you, then by all means walk out on them, but not Toyota or the Prius, at least not for the wrong reasons.